Finding the Words: How to Hire a Professional Obituary Writer

Writing an obituary can be an incredibly daunting task—especially when you’ve just lost someone you love.

How do you go about capturing a life in words? Should it be a straightforward timeline or a memory-filled reflection on what made them special? How do you balance mentioning all aspects of their life, from past relationships to memorable quirks, while also honoring their legacy? And do you have the capacity, at a time of great stress and grief, to write their story?

Collaborating with family and friends can offer valuable insights and reveal cherished stories, adding depth to the tribute. This can be a comforting, bittersweet process. But still, you might feel too overwhelmed to put pen to paper to construct the story of their life. Professional obituary writers specialize in doing just that.

If you find yourself struggling with this task, hiring an obituary writer can provide significant relief. This guide will help you navigate the process of finding, hiring, and working with a professional to create a meaningful obituary for your loved one.

What is an obituary?

Traditionally, an obituary serves as notification of a person’s death. It includes the date and sometimes the cause of death, an outline of their life, and information on services where the public can pay their respects. Obituaries are often published in local newspapers, but can also appear on funeral home websites, in leaflets distributed at services, or on social media. Earth Funeral publishes obituaries submitted by families on our website.

The most basic obituary will cover things like schooling, work, important relationships, children, hobbies, and retirement. A longer, more detailed obituary can dig past the basics to illustrate someone’s personality and their nuanced journey through life. It might include stories that demonstrate what made them unique, the challenges that shaped them, and the impact they had on those around them.

Obituaries vary in tone as well. They can be straightforward and formal, or light-hearted—even humorous. It all depends on what you’re looking for and what feels appropriate for the person being memorialized.

An obituary can be 50 words or 5,000. Ultimately, there is no wrong way to write an obituary, as long as it’s an honest attempt to honor a life. It’s helpful to have a sense of your desired length and tone before you hire an obituary writer. But if you aren’t sure, a professional can help you navigate these choices.

What does a professional obituary writer do?

A professional obituary writer is skilled at gathering information from one or multiple sources and weaving those details into a thoughtful and cohesive life story. They are typically working journalists and/or experienced wordsmiths.

No matter where you are in the process, an obituary writer can provide support and guidance during this challenging time. They understand the emotional weight that comes with writing an obituary and are skilled in helping families navigate through feelings of grief and overwhelm with care and sensitivity.

Each obituary writer may have a slightly different approach to gathering information and drafting the obituary. They might begin by sending you a questionnaire or scheduling a phone call to learn more. Once they have the details, they’ll prepare a first draft for your review, giving you the chance to request edits or adjustments to ensure it reflects your wishes.

Most obituary writers do not handle placement. When the obituary is complete, you will typically need to handle its submission to local newspapers, arrange for printing and distribution, and/or post it online. Keep in mind that you will generally need pay to print and publish the obituary, in addition to the obituary writer's services.

How to find a professional obituary writer

You can start by searching for obituary writers online to check their websites and past work to determine if they’re a good fit. When reviewing websites, look for testimonials from people they’ve written for in the past.

Review their process and ensure it aligns with your schedule. For example, if you prefer communicating by email rather than scheduling phone calls, seek out writers who offer that option. If samples of their work aren’t available on their website, don’t hesitate to request some. Reviewing past obituaries they’ve written will help you assess their style and capability.

What does an obituary writer need from you?

Certain information is standard in most obituaries: Date of birth, place of birth, date of death, cause of death, the names of immediate family members and other important people, and the timing of significant milestones throughout their life.

An obituary writer will need the correct spelling of anyone who is mentioned. This is often easier to send by email, rather than spelling things out over the phone.

Gather as much relevant information as possible before contacting an obituary writer, but remember, it’s entirely up to you what to include and what to omit. If a writer asks you for information that doesn’t seem relevant, you don’t have to share. Communicate your timeline and the desired length of the obituary, especially if you need to adhere to specific word limits for publication in local newspapers.

As for payment, some writers require a partial or full payment up front, while others will ask for payment when the work is complete. Find a professional whose requirements align with your preferences.

What to consider before hiring an obituary writer

• Will the obituary serve as an announcement of services? If so, you’ll need to have it published at least several days before the services take place.
• Where will you publish it? There are a variety of ways to publish an obituary, from social media to national newspapers. Widely circulated newspapers will cost the most.
• Does the publisher have certain requirements? Most newspapers have word-count limits on obituaries. If it’s being published by more niche publications, like an alumni magazine or a business journal, they might want it to conform to a style guide. These publications might have their own writers on staff who can help you with this.
• Who will contribute to the obituary? It can be helpful to gather information and thoughts from several close family members and friends, but too many contributors can also complicate the process. Make sure one person is in charge of working with the writer and giving final approval on what’s written.
• Who will be included in a “survived by” or “predeceased by” list? Most obituaries include these lists in one of the final paragraphs. It’s an opportunity to mention people who were connected to the person who passed. Traditionally, these lists include family members but you could also include close friends if you wish. When listing family, you’ll need to decide how far to branch out on the family tree, and whether or not to include maiden names and where people are from. In a big family, these lists can be very long. An obituary writer can guide you on what to include.
• Will you be accepting flowers or donations? It is a tradition to send flowers to a funeral home before services are held, but many families prefer to have people donate to an organization or charity, in lieu of flowers. Your writer can include this information for you.
• Don’t worry if you don’t have all the information. An experienced writer knows how to work with the information you have—even if some dates or details are missing.
• What story do you want to tell? This is an opportunity to reflect on your loved one and memorialize their life. An obituary can be both a factual record and a reflection on your loved one's life. Consider how they made others feel and how they would like to be remembered. A professional obituary writer can help capture both the tangible and intangible aspects of their life.

Crafting an obituary is a meaningful way to honor and remember a loved one. By considering the key aspects of publication, contribution, and the story you wish to tell, you can ensure that the final tribute is both accurate and heartfelt. A professional obituary writer can help navigate the complexities of this process, offering expertise and support to create a lasting reflection of your loved one's life and legacy.

Whether you’re announcing services, sharing details about the family, or guiding readers on how to pay their respects, taking the time to thoughtfully plan and convey your message will provide comfort and clarity during a difficult time.

At Earth, we offer a space where you can post beautiful online obituaries to memorialize loved ones who have chosen human composting. This service helps honor their memory in a way that reflects their commitment to returning to nature and nurturing new life. With careful consideration and the right support, your loved one's story can be shared in a way that both honors their memory and connects with those who remember them.