Growing Together

Sean met Stephen after locking eyes between the perfume counter and the men’s section at a Macy’s.

“I had the weirdest feeling right away,” says Sean. “Like goosebumps but they start in your head.” Sean just knew he had to meet this handsome man. They did meet, thanks to Stephen, who introduced himself. They talked about their lives over racks of clothing, exchanged numbers, and went on their first date the following week. Sean fell for Stephen right away. He also quickly realized he was going to have to acquire some camping gear. Stephen had grown up camping. He loved hiking and sleeping under the stars, and he wanted to share this hobby with Sean.

Not long after Stephen introduced Sean to his family, they all went camping at Tuttle Creek Campground in Lone Pine, California, where they’d been going every summer since Stephen and his brother were little kids. Sean was officially part of the family.

Six years after that first family camping trip with Sean, Stephen was diagnosed with brain cancer.

As his health declined, Stephen spent a lot of time at home, unable to drive or walk for long. The couple decided they should make their space more green and cozy. Stephen had brought home a snake plant from his office when he left for the last time, and the two of them made a special trip to Home Depot for pots, soil, and a couple of new plants, including a pineapple plant and a palm tree. They arranged them in the corner of the room with the baby grand piano, where the sunlight bathed the floor.

Three months later, Stephen passed away. Sean knew Stephen didn’t want to be buried, but cremation didn’t feel right, either. Once, years ago, when death was not a serious thing to consider, Stephen said he thought it would be cool to become a mushroom when he died. He loved mushrooms: eating them, learning about them, and thinking about the percentage of genes they share with humans.

Sean started Googling how to become a mushroom, and human composting came up in the results. This led him to Earth Funeral’s website, and he was pleasantly surprised to see the facility was in Auburn, Washington. Sean had lived in the Seattle area for nine years, prior to meeting Stephen, and they’d always talked about going there together someday.

Sean knew Stephen would love the majestic beauty of the region: the mountains, rainforest, and rugged coast.

Sean was even happier to hear that Earth donates soil to a conservation site on the Olympic Peninsula. He and Stephen had talked about going there, too. The more Sean learned about human composting, the more right it felt. Stephen was passionate about recycling and composting at home. He loved being close to nature.

“It felt like he was saying, yeah, I want this,” says Sean.

After Stephen’s soil transformation was complete, his family received five containers of soil. The rest went to the Olympic Peninsula conservation site.

Stephen’s mother took one container and spread it in her garden at her home in Maine, where she’s planted tomatoes, vegetables, and pollinating flowers. Stephen’s brother took a container to Tuttle Creek Campground and spread the soil among their happiest childhood memories. Sean joined him for that special camping trip. As for the soil Sean took back to the home he once shared with Stephen, some of it went in the potted plants they’d cared for together.

Sean often plays the piano and writes music, surrounded by the plants that continue growing in Stephen’s soil.

Some more of it went in a little urn on a shelf that holds a collection of Stephen’s belongings that are special to Sean: A cup he often used, bracelets they shared, a Star Wars figurine that Sean gave Stephen one Valentine’s Day. “It’s really nice to still have him there,” says Sean. “I know he’s still around.” Sean says it’s important to remember the wonderful times when you lose someone, even though it’s painful. Being surrounded by the plants and Stephen’s soil helps him do that.

And there’s another reason the plants make him feel close to Stephen.

Stephen and Sean used to go to Disneyland every year for their anniversary. Their favorite Disney movie was Wall-E, in which a robot (Wall-E) is cleaning up a post-apocalyptic Earth and meets another robot (Eve) who is searching for a plant. At the end of the movie, Eve and Wall-E are resting beneath the plant she found, which has grown into a big, shady tree.

In Wall-E, hope lives on in the green growth of the tree and in the love that’s found beneath it.

Sean looks forward to visiting the Olympic Peninsula conservation site, where much of Stephen’s soil now resides. He’s excited to hear that Earth has a new conservation site in California. As a California resident, he’s heartened to see soil transformation catching on in his state. But at the eventual end of Sean’s life, even if he’s still living in California, he’d like his final resting place to be on the Olympic Peninsula—with Stephen.

“I want to be where he is.”